Imprint
by Jack Mirembe
Summary: Starting right then to forever, he was going to be the one to take care of her. Or he would die trying. If only somebody had let him know that first. BBXRae series set alongside the series.
1. Go!

_So, watched Go! today and was inspired. An attempt to explain Beast Boy's dedication to see Raven happy that is set to go over the bigger parts of the series and my favorite episodes. If you have a part you want me to try, just let me know. Reviews are appreciated, as this is my first try at a chapter fic._

_I don't own anything, other than my notebooks. Or more like the ideas inside. Enjoy!_

* * *

He didn't mean to. It just…happened. Honestly, he never knew it could. It did though.

It had been an average enough day. Starting with not enough to eat and barely any money. But like Robot Man said, if there was one thing he was especially good at, it was finding trouble. Sure enough, he had head-butted his way into the biggest amount of trouble he had found since running away. Fighting against a seemingly unstoppable force boasting large numbers and a really big weapon, it was like being back with the Doom Patrol. Only instead of robots lead by a brain in a bell jar, he was going toe to toe with giant reptilian aliens. It was something he had only ever dreamed of doing, but it was just his luck. Barely two days in town, and he had managed to tangle himself up in an intergalactic incident.

No regrets though. He had met _the _Robin. Saved him even, but it didn't really matter. He may have been star struck. He probably would have jumped off the bridge if Robin said it would make him side-kick worthy. Thankfully, Robin never did that. So he stuck to what he knew: following and taking orders. He stuck with the Boy Wonder and ended up meeting Raven and Cyborg, then tracking the alien girl to a video store, followed by fighting the bad aliens, and found himself transporting all the way to the mother ship.

So there he was, fighting a species he hadn't known existed until a few hours ago for the safety of a city he wasn't going to stay in alongside a group of people that would dissolve once the crisis was over. But, oh man, it felt right. He had missed near continual fighting. Maybe he had been born with a different purpose, but battle was what he had been raised with. Other than his reflection and powers, conflict had been a constant. Being a hero was like having a hobby, job, and guilty pleasure all rolled into one dangerous and addictive, often painful, package.

Adrenaline pumping, he beat a few reptilian aliens away from a control panel. Then he was hit by the leader, whose powerful uppercut proved he was most definitely not confined to the insides of a bell jar. While he flew through the air, time could have frozen. He slid down the bridge wall, for what felt like a minute, even though he knew it was mere moments. Probably wasn't enough to count for more than two moments. Most likely, it was the possible concussion messing up his timing. He had felt the whiplash when his body had collided with the wall. As the battle scene swam before his eyes, he could see the biggest alien of all, ever so slowly moving towards him. He tried to shift into something small to dodge the oncoming attack, maybe with wings to circle around behind. The blackness creeping in on the edges of his vision was making it difficult to think, let alone concentrate enough on a specific creature to transform. So he focused on staying conscious and preparing himself for the beating that was slowly drawing ever closer.

The alien raised his huge arms in slow motion. He could see every little scale and watched the muscles bunch up as they prepared to come down on his head. The sound of his heart beating stuck out in the quiet of his concussion, slower than was most likely healthy. Long black claws ready to rip at him. The blood was pounding in his ears like the bass on a car stereo. The thing was roaring at him now. It sounded funny, like hearing a walrus yelling in a bullhorn from under three feet of water. The breath was slow leaving his lungs, each exhale was a sigh lamenting the fact that the ugly fish face was going to be the last thing he saw. Barely four months on his own and he failed. It was a good thing Mento couldn't see him now.

Then she was there. With all the darkness and mystery and danger that always managed to send his survival instinct into overload. Her powers made him uneasy and her quiet was eerie. Normally, he would have simply been grateful for the intervention and the chance to regroup. Right then, he felt more than he had ever felt in his entire life, and it wasn't gratitude. It was fear. Even though he was utterly defenseless, he would have given anything to simply trade places with her. He would take the beating a hundred times over and worse, because nothing would be worse than seeing her hurt. As he sat against that wall in the middle of that battle, understanding crashed upon his pain muddled mind with a simple clarity. Starting right then until forever, he was going to be the one to take care of her. He would protect her from anything and everything. Or he was going to die trying.

Because the moment Raven stepped between him and Trogaar the Gordanian, Beast Boy had imprinted. Even though if she didn't even know it and he didn't understand, that one moment was going to mark the beginning of everything.

* * *

_Feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Final Exam Pt 1

_Agg! Okay, This and the next two are based on Final Exam. I wanted to make it one big one, but it just wouldn't flow. And the length was becoming ridiculous. So this one is a possibility, and the other two are going to be based on scenes from the actual episode. *exhales with relief* Merry Christmas!_

_I don't own the Titans. Sadness!_

* * *

He really should have left weeks ago.

There were places to go, villains to fight. As far as he knew, there wasn't any rule that kept him from just being a traveling hero. If he had kept going, he'd probably be somewhere in Quebec, fighting evil maple syrup monsters. But he hadn't just left.

Jump needed heroes. He had never been able to turn his back on someone. Not when he could do something to help. So he had stayed in Jump for a night. That night ended up becoming a week, which turned into two and so on until he had spent much longer in Jump than he had ever intended to. He got comfortable. Wrong idea.

A pizza between the five of them, and Robin playfulliy suggesting teaming up blurred into arguing with the mayor and the city council which somehow lead to building their Tower. And just like that, in 8 months, he had gone from one team to another. He had been running away from his dysfunctional "family". The goal had been escape, not diving into a new group that could barely hold itself together.

He may have been stuck in a new group, but he wasn't about to give up on them. While a small part of him regretted the shortness of his independence, he was relieved to have found a new home, no matter how strained things were. They were all trying, but it was difficult. Between the huge culture differences, personalities, and habits, it was a miracle they were able to work together as well as they did. Cyborg and Robin had fought, nearly ripping the fledgling group apart. But the two had reconciled, and things had gotten better. Heh, Raven hadn't attempted to kill him in at least five days.

But then the Hive students had shown up. They had pulled carefully practiced teamwork apart with a surgeon's precision. Cyborg flew away on a rocket, and Starfire chased after him. Then the pavement had opened up like giant mouth beneath their feet. It was chaotic in that sewer. Water and thing he didn't want to think about splashing everywhere. Rubble was crashing in from above, sending waves of dirty water over his heads.

The smell was incredible. Of course it was bad, but to his heightened senses, it was torture. It was so intense, every breath made him want to gag. But that would have involved opening his mouth. The risk of tasting the sewer's contents wasn't worth it. His eyes hadn't known what to do, the light streaming in from above giving the surrounding darkness greater depth.

Worse than the smell and more unnerving than the sight had been the sound. The crashing of pavement into the rushing water had echoed round and round until it was the roar of a thousand avalanches. He had been so overwhelmed; he had misjudged the timing of a rock. His cry of pain had blended into the tumult as the sharp edge smashed into his leg. Limping, he had pulled himself away from the opening that led to the street above. Or at least he had been trying.

Then he had heard it. A clear sound that cut through the cacophony of his mind like a blade. It was simple. His name.

"Beast Boy!"

_Raven._

Injury forgotten, he had darted back into the storm of rock and water toward the sound. Panic had began to fill his mind as agonizing minutes seemed to slip by as he searched for her. He couldn't lose a teammate. Not this soon, it had barely been a month since they had all started really getting along.

Not Raven, please, not Raven. She had nearly almost sorta looked like she was thinking about smiling earlier. And Starfire would _kill _him with that sad face if he didn't find Robin. The sewer was threatening to collapse, he could hear it creaking and groaning from the stress of standing. But he couldn't leave. Not until he found his teammates.

What if she was hurt? What if she had hit her head and had fallen underwater, and now she was trapped? His mind started to cloud again with horrible possibilities until he saw a darkness that was just a little darker than anything else in the sewer.

_Raven._

It wasn't fair that she still managed to look pretty. Dark energy swirled in shields around her, deflecting water and rubble away. She stood alone, like the eye of a hurricane. Her cloak was stained from the splashing water around her knees. She had turned toward him, and their eyes had locked.

The relief was incredible, like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. He had seen her mouth form words, but he had stopped caring enough to listen. Raven was okay. Suddenly, his leg ached and he couldn't think for the noise inside his own head. With the very last of his strength, he ran to her side. Then the roof above them gave a loud crack, and the world went dark.

Every sort of noise disappeared, except for the sound of his own breathing. It was cold. Then he found himself standing on solid dry ground, half blinded in bright sunlight. Panting, he looked around.

They were back at the Tower. She had saved him again. He tried to walk away, and prove that he wasn't completely helpless. Only to almost fall flat on his face. Almost, except for the fact that she was there to save him again. This was embarrassing. He couldn't even walk properly without her intervening.

He would just have to put a little more effort into everything whenever he was around her. Of course, just so that she wouldn't think he was _completely_ helpless. It would also keep the carefully guarded look of concern from her face. He hated that expression.

She shouldn't have to be worried. She should be able to smile. He would have to make sure to put a little more effort into seeing she smiled. Anything would be better than the neutral face she liked so much.


	3. Final Exam Pt 2

_Part two of Final Exam. Okay, I watched the episode a few times getting ready to write this and noticed that the Hive used to be sorta bad ass. I mean, seriously! By the time we get to Lightspeed, they've just devolved into a joke. Or maybe the Titans just stepped up the bad-assness. Also, Robin is amazing in the earlier episodes. We need more early Season 1 Robin on this site! Ridiculously long note about nothing that has any sort of importance to the following shot, check! Sorry about that, and my use of 'bad ass' if it offended you. Fic is T for a reason! Anyways. Absolutely loved this scene. So of course, had to make a stab at putting my own twist on it. Enjoy!_

_I don't own the Titans. *sigh* One of the worst and most painful sentences ever._

* * *

He managed to make it back inside the building without falling again. Raven had been hovering nearby, ready to catch him again if he did. The fact that his leg still hurt would have normally worried him. It had been a while. He had been through worse with less pain. Normally, the sting would have faded away and he wouldn't be limping through their lobby. Then again, if things were normal, they would have stopped the Hive and got their pizza. All five of them would be trooping in through the big double door, happy and laughing about who knew what. It wouldn't have been just the two of them.

As it was, he barely noticed his surroundings. Limping down that long aisle, the only things that seemed real was the pain in his leg and the warmth of Raven's hand on his wrist. Numbly, he wondered if this was what going into shock was like. Maybe he was just in shock. When he had landed in that trashcan, he could have hit his head. And now he had a concussion. That would be perfect. Then he would have just imagined all of that. The Hive, sewer, Robin's yell. All of it, just a bad dream. He let Raven guide him down the aisle toward a chair. Body on autopilot, he heard himself speak.

"That didn't just happen. Tell me that didn't just happen." With a mild jolt of pain, he settled himself into the nearest chair. He started rubbing his leg, just for something to do. Anything to keep himself busy.

"It did just happen. We cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it." Raven's words were cold, almost as if she had rehearsed. But he could hear the smallest of tremors. This had shaken her. He wanted to do something, say something to comfort her. But nothing was coming to mind. Just dark times from his past, and somehow telling war stories didn't seem to fit the moment. So he just sat there, rubbing his leg.

An unfamiliar sound reached his ears. It was almost like water being flash frozen or the crackle of an ice bag. He looked up to see his usually reserved teammate reaching out for him, hands glowing an icy blue. This was completely new. Not knowing what to expect, he leaned back and let her hands hover about his injured leg. His entire thigh went numb, then prickled as feeling slowly warmed its way back into his muscles and nerves. Except there wasn't anything to feel. No more pain, at all. Just gone, banished in an instant by Raven.

His numb mind slowly woke up as the pain disappeared. They may be alone, but they could do this. Just had to find Cyborg and Starfire, and then they would find Robin. He was probably, no. He _was_ safe. They just needed to find them all. Not to mention the Hive, who were still running around the city. Sitting here staring into space wasn't going to help anything. It was a good thing Raven was here. He wasn't quite sure what he would have done if she wasn't there.

He remembered giving one of his weakest smiles and finally looking her in the face for the first time since returning to the Tower.

"Who knew we had a doctor in the house? Thanks." She hadn't smiled since the day he met her. Raven didn't smile. But maybe, right then in that moment, her eyes got just a little warmer.

"No problem."


	4. Final Exam Pt 3

_At long last, the final chapter that goes with Final Exam! Sorry it took so long. I kept wanting to drag this out and make it a really long big deal. But it was just a small part of the episode I was trying to expound on so I figure this much is pretty good to glean from it. Enjoy!_

_I don't own the Titans._

* * *

He knew they didn't always get along. He and Raven, they were two opposite ends of a magnet. They didn't get along and everybody knew it. But today was different, had been different. Now that they had lost Robin, everything had changed.

This was a really special occasion. Robin was gone. Starfire was sad, near crying. And here they were, Cyborg and Beast Boy. He was staring down the guy who was _so _close to being the very first friend he had ever had. Just yesterday, they had been laughing over some stupid TV show. Amazing the difference a day made. Now they were ready to go to blows over who knew what. Oh yeah, right. He remembered now.

Cyborg blamed them. As if he and Raven were supposed to stop them when all five of them had failed. Maybe if he had been able to think straight, he would have understood. But the truth was he didn't care. He was mad and frustrated. At that moment, he wanted to just beat something up. Even if it did happen to be a friend and teammate.

Before he had managed to even take a step forward, she had thrown an arm out in front of him. The angry haze that had filled his mind cleared slightly as she gave him a silent look. She just looked at him. No words, nothing. He knew she wouldn't try to stop him if he did try and fight. She would let him, but she was calm enough to know that he shouldn't. She'd be there to pick him up if he did fight. And he got the feeling that she might be there at his side if he chose to walk away.

He wanted to give in to his instincts. This was _their _territory. Those fools had kicked them out of their home, beaten their leader. Now the only thing he wanted to do was fight until they were all back home. Mento had always gotten after him for acting impulsively. When he had wanted to do something, nothing could have held him back except for several very stern words.

And apparently the dark girl who was standing next to him. It didn't take words to tell what she needed him to do. She needed him to keep a cool head. They were going to need it.

With a slow breath, he let it go. She squeezed his upper arm gently. Maybe in reassurance or comfort, but probably it was unintentional. As he let that anger fade and pushed his instincts back where they belonged, he made up his mind. The Titans might be finished, but he was going to stick with Raven. It just made sense. Magnets have to stick together.


	5. Forces Of Nature

_Really fast thing on part of __**Forces of Nature.**__ Might do some more on this episode, not sure. Random, but in the first few episodes, you rarely see Beast Boy change on screen. Or if he does, it's usually covered by an explosion or he darting behind something. And Beast Boy being all diplomatic with Thunder gets me every time. And then the dream sequence-y thing is great too. Just in general a good episode._

_I don't own the Titans._

* * *

He knew it was immature.

He didn't need her to tell him he was being stupid or childish. Definitely didn't need to see the exasperation he knew had to be written across her face. He could already hear it in the sarcastic comments. If he was smart enough to put the Insta-lube 9000 together, he was smart enough to know that enough was enough.

Except he didn't want to think about it. That would take all the fun out of it.

Because these stupid little pranks were something he was good at. Nobody pranked like he did and for good reason. He spent his fledgling years as a prankster on an air ship with security cameras in every room. If you wanted a good prank, you had to be sneaky and innovative.

But it didn't matter how he had learned the tricks of his trade. It just mattered that he had. Now it was going to come in handy. Maybe he couldn't build a Tower like Cyborg, or suddenly show up with hundreds of dollars like Robin. But he could perform the Mother of All Pranks and that _had _to count for something. Finally, Cyborg would give him the respect he deserved as a prankster. Anything else, well, that would be a bonus.

No matter how pointless she thought it was, she still stuck around to hear him explain and watch the contraption go off. Well, maybe he had dragged her into staying to watch. But she could have left and she didn't. That had to count for something.

Right?


	6. Nevermore Afraid

_Umm, yeah. You may feel free to throw things at me for taking so long with this. And I don't even like it as much as I wish I did. Sort of a springboard for the __**Nevermore**__ shots coming up soon. I had been trying to find a way to transition into these and jump straight into the episode at the same time, but that just wouldn't work. Or it wouldn't work a way I like. Anyways, hope you like it. Let me know, and enjoy!_

_I don't own the Titans._

* * *

He wasn't fearless, but he liked to pretend he was.

It makes things easier. The villains he fights get scared, or at the very least concerned, when they look at him in the middle of a fight and can't see fear. It helps the civilians he saves to see him calm. A fearless hero means everything is going to be okay. It's also easier to make friends when you aren't afraid of being pushed away.

If he can convince himself he's not scared, it makes charging into battle a lot easier. Because instead of being scared one of his friends will get hurt, he can focus on fighting and getting his job done. Honestly, that's a lot harder than people would think.

Every single day, he has to push the instincts that keep telling him to run as fast as he can away from Jump City. It's not safe in that city and his body knows it. But he can't just leave. It's been almost a half a year since the Titans had come together. This place is home now. And he couldn't just leave his friends behind. He actually had friends for the first time in his life. There was no way he was going to just leave.

Sure, there had been problems. They had nearly lost Cyborg a couple weeks back. Then of course, there were the normal problems that came with being on a team. But it was worth it. Everyone had warmed up to each other, no more eggshells. Well, except for Raven.

He has to ignore his impulsive nature whenever he's around her. Something about her makes him want to run as fast and as far away as he can. Only he's not sure how far he'd make it before he'd be pulled right back in. The simple fact is that while half of him wants to run, the rest of him can't help but want to move closer.

Even though her powers make the hair on the back of his neck stand up straight, he's never been afraid of _her_. She's not frightening. Maybe very sarcastic, a little too smart, and pretty, but she's not scary. Except for the pretty thing, because he has no idea how to act around a pretty girl.

He's not fearless, but he sure isn't stupid either.

She's intimidating. He's seen her fight, train, and lived with her for months now. Out of everyone and everything he's ever seen, she's at the top of the list of people he never wants to fight. There's a difference between being scary and intimidating. He knows that but he just wishes his instincts did. The nervous feeling that keeps showing up whenever he tries to talk to her doesn't help their strained relationship.

No matter what has ever happened, he has _never _been afraid of her.

That changed in the moment it took her to turn red eyes on him. He hadn't meant to flinch away. Hadn't intended to squeal, especially not like a little girl. For just a moment, he let his instincts take control and he was afraid.

She scared him because she had almost completely lost control and destroyed the villain. She scared him because she wouldn't open up. She scared him because her powers made him nervous. She scared him because she was smarter than him, more powerful. She scared him because he didn't know what she would do if she really decided to be angry with him. She scared him because he knew she didn't care about him.

He had no idea that it was the last one that would hurt the most.


	7. Nevermore Dreaming

Hi there! Yes, I'm still alive. So sorry that it's taken so long for anything to show up. I got busy with classes, then finals, and then ran into a wall with ideas. So I figured I'll just work on this story for a while.

_Based off Starfire's "to whom are you engaged?" question and Beast Boy's response. Enjoy!_

_I don't own the Titans. Sadness._

* * *

Normally, it's just too much hassle to add on to patrols and early morning training. But he wanted breakfast. For once in his life, he got up early. Then he just went crazy, making absolutely every type of breakfast food he could think of and had enough ingredients for. It was all going good. Then Starfire made that little comment about getting engaged.

And then his overactive mind took over.

He's taller now, with more muscle and just in general a lot better looking. Well, at least he hopes so. And then she walks in through the double sliding doors.

Oh holy hell.

She's taller too. And she's _hot._ Of course it's not like she isn't hot now. She is still hot, but not like this. Right now, she's just a decent hot. Hot he actually has a chance with. But this Raven, oh…

This Raven is hot enough that she could have held a gun to his head and he wouldn't have cared. She could have been wearing a potato sack, and she would have been more gorgeous than anything he's ever seen. She could have been robbing a bank and he wouldn't have been able to do anything. This Raven is the dangerous kind of attractive that's meant to set his blood on fire and his nerves uneasy.

The reason is deadly simple. It's always the most deadly animals that move the most gracefully and have all the brightest colors. That little instinct he always ignores is going off like crazy. You know, the "MOVE NOW OR DIE!" one. But he can't.

Because this Raven is smiling. That same little barely there smile that she had the time he told her that stupid sunshine joke. And what's more, she's smiling it for him. Not because he's hurt himself or done something absolutely stupid. Or because he's actually told a decent joke or something. She's just smiling at him because he's there.

Then there's a ring sparkling on her finger. Then suddenly she's all done up in white. And then it's dark, and she's smiling at him again. But this smile isn't the sweet half type. She's walking across the room to him and…

Cyborg calls his cooking terrible.

He's not sure what he's more upset about. Cyborg's bashing vegetarian cooking or the fact that he had started day-dreaming like _that _about Raven.

She's his teammate for crying out loud. Plus she doesn't even like him. And so of course he doesn't like her. He can't like her. Because he can't like her if she can't even stand him. He knows better than to fall for somebody that hates his guts. She just tolerates him because of the team. So no, he doesn't like her.

That doesn't make him any less grateful that she walked into the kitchen after his little daydreaming episode was over. As if things needed to be more awkward.


	8. Nevermore Reckless

_Hello! I'm enjoying getting back into the swing of things. I personally think that after this episode, things sort of take off for BB. And I'm also really enjoying writing from his view point. So expect this to get updated a little more frequently in the near future. Set right after breakfast, just before the mirror. Let me know what you think/ how your day went/whatever you want. : ) Enjoy! _

_Still don't own the Titans._

* * *

Sometimes he wishes he wasn't so impulsive.

If he wasn't, then he would have never pushed Raven's buttons at breakfast. Honestly, he knew exactly what he was doing. But it really didn't matter. He wanted to know her because nobody did. It was really pretty simple. He just want to know who she was and what she wasn't. How she felt and why. Just knowing what her favorite color was would be incredible.

And maybe he had messed with her a little on purpose because he wanted to prove to himself that he was really being crazy.

Though he's still not sure why he'd want to know for sure that she hated him. Most sane people wouldn't go out of their way for punishment. Intentionally looking for pain is against everything he knows and has ever learned. But he hasn't really worried about himself or his personal well-being for years now, so why start today over some girl?

Even though he doesn't think things through, he can't help but be a nice guy. his stupid conscience wouldn't leave him alone. Which is why he went to her room intending to apologize.

Nobody went in her room or even came close to it unless they absolutely had to. Her door was like a question mark. It was a lot like the blank face she showed all of them. It only gave her name and nothing to explain what lay beyond it. The similarities went on and on. But he didn't spend his time thinking about how Raven and her door were alike. He didn't spend his free time dreaming about what was behind that door, that would just be odd. But there isn't anything weird about thinking about it a couple times. Right?

That room had to be the answer. It _had_ to be. She lived there after all. She spent most of her time inside. So she had to have all her favorite stuff in there too. It was probably the key to understanding her. Deep down, that's all he really wanted. He's not complicated. It's not like he was asking her to marry him or anything. He just wanted to know more about her. It's easier to sit and think about people when you actually know something about them.

Not that he sat around and thought about Raven. All they were was room and teammates. End of story.

It was the most perfect stroke of luck that her door fell flat after Cyborg knocked on it just a little too hard too many times. Finally, here was his chance, wait, no. This was _their_ chance to discover more about Raven. Sure, every fiber of his being told him going into that room was a bad idea. Of course his already guilty conscience twinged at the thought of invading a teammate's privacy.

He's a nice guy after all. You sort of have to be if you really want to be serious about being a hero. No matter what Cyborg joked and Raven implied, he had not been raised by wild hogs or any other type of animal. No matter what he did, he was probably always closer to being a gentleman than a punk. Of course sometimes you'd have to look really deep to find it, but that chivalry was there.

It didn't really matter what he was closest to being at that moment though. Her door was lying flat on the floor and all those half-familiar scents were calling him. The sweetness of whatever she used in the shower, old paper, something vaguely of flowers, and all the other little bits and pieces that made up her scent.

It smelled like her. But he was going to get in trouble for simply standing there. On the other hand, the room could tell him everything about her. She was going to kill them anyways. This was his only chance. He really should just walk away. It really wasn't worth it. He could always try asking again. Maybe it'd work for some strange reason and he'd get a real answer this time instead of a cold shoulder.

But it _smelled_ like her.

After hesitating just long enough to check she wasn't inside, he stepped across the threshold. He knew all about curiosity but regret killed so much faster.


	9. Nevermore Protective

_Hey everybody! I'm going to be spending a good portion of the weekend in a dinosaur museum, so I figured I should let you have this. : ) Quick thing about BB and his protective instinct, with a little background stuff on our favorite green dude. Always fun but there is a little less awkward romance to balance it out. But the awkward is on the way back soon! I've already got the next chapter planned out. Actually, that chapter was supposed to be this chapter but this one needed to be written first. It'll flow a little better, trust me. So it'll hopefully be up really soon along with the next chapter of **27**. : O You heard right. The future fic that's been gathering dust will be getting an update! Author's note is long, so we'll cut out here. Enjoy!_

_I don't own the Titans. I'd love to own them for a month and a half (a day is too short to do anything serious) but I don't even have that right. _

* * *

Survival wasn't an option. Success was all that mattered. You follow orders and you do them well. That's it. You weren't supposed to think, supposed to act, even speak if it was outside of those orders. The success of the mission above _all_ else.

He was raised constantly having that idea drilled into his head. That no matter what the potential cost, he was supposed to follow the orders he was given because not even the lives of the people he cared about were worth a mission failing. Leaving behind a teammate, family even, was right. For a while, he had believed it.

Maybe it was out of gratitude. After all, the Doom Patrol had essentially saved his life. Honestly, he doesn't want to think about where he'd be if they hadn't taken him in. It definitely wouldn't be with the Titans. After all these years and all that conflict, he is still eternally thankful. As a barely eight year old kid, that gratitude had probably bordered on hero worship. Why on earth would he have argued with the people who were willing to take him in and give him a home?

But he couldn't just sit back and allow the people he cared about to be placed in danger, not when he could help them. That ship had already sailed, crashed, and taken everything he used to have. There was never a time when he could have seen somebody in danger and simply stand back without reacting. It was instinctive. He _had_ to help them because once upon a time, he had been the one being rescued.

And the Doom Patrol had tried to teach him to simply walk away. He had never done it because he probably would have tried to kill himself for it. Not when his stomach clenched up at the thought of having to lose something else, someone else he cared about. Not when every fiber of his being would scream for him to move and do whatever necessary to save his friends. His family.

He's possessive and he knows it. There are nights when he can't sleep because he _has_ to fly over _his_ city and see that it's safe. Some days he just prowls up and down corridors of the Tower making sure _his _team is okay. It doesn't matter if he isn't the leader. They are _his_ and anybody stupid enough to try and take them away will have hell to pay.

So when that big red dude shows up and Raven tells him that he and Cyborg need to leave, it's just proof of how little she really thinks of him. As if he'd ever just run away when a friend needed him.

Yeah, that right. A friend. She's his friend. There isn't a rule that says he can't be her friend, even if she probably wants to kill him on her bad days and maim him on the good ones. So he cares, he's not ashamed to admit it. He'd have to be a cold-hearted jerk _not_ to care about her. It doesn't matter what she thinks of him, but he cares about what happens to her. So even if she does hate him, he's not going to stop trying to get to know her.

Of course, if he wants to get to know her, he's going to have to start by surviving Big Red's tantrum. Even though he's not quite sure what's going on or even where they are, he's not going to leave her alone to fight this thing. The simple thought of her being hurt when he could have stopped it…he can't let that happen. Ever. Even if it kills him, there is nothing on Earth or even in her mind that will keep him from helping her.

After all, what are friends for?


	10. Nevermore Hopeful

_Last piece of __**Nevermore**__! Sorry it's a little bit short, but this was all I could milk out of it. Next one should be plenty long. Thanks for hanging in there while I updated everything else! Please enjoy!_

_Wishing to own something I don't own doesn't get if for me. It just makes me even more pathetic! – J. Mirembe : )_

_

* * *

_

She doesn't hate him.

_She _doesn't hate _him_.

She doesn't _hate _him.

She doesn't hate him!

Every single way he goes over it, that little revelation just keep sounding better and better. If he keeps this up, it's going to turn into his mantra. Whatever a mantra's supposed to be. It doesn't really matter though because if he can't stop thinking about it, it'll just get stuck rewinding in his head. Not that that would be a bad thing.

Sure, she didn't say it exactly like that. Actually, she didn't say that all. But it's all the same sort of thing really. If she doesn't hate him, then she might someday actually like him. C'mon, she called him _friend_ for crying out loud! Okay, so she was calling him _and _Cyborg her friends, but it still counts!

But she thought he didn't like her.

How on earth had she thought that? After everything he's done, and she thought he didn't like her. He's not ooey-gooey emotional enough to say it, but that really does sort of sting. He likes her. Not like like or anything weird like that. She's his teammate and all. That's it, really. You're supposed to care about your teammates. You'd have to be a huge jerk to not care, especially if you had a teammate like…

But that wasn't what mattered. Right now, the only thing that mattered was that he was getting a second chance. This was his moment to start shining for her, so she could see that he really was worth being friends with. He's bound and determined, even more than before. She's going to notice him and it's going to be for the right reasons.

If there's a better way to start a second chance other than with a second breakfast, he hasn't found it yet. And oh yeah!

SHE DOESN'T HATE HIM!


	11. Deep Rivalry

_Moving right along, we have __**Deep Six**__! Sort of fun to write. I might do more on this episode. Just a sort of head's up to all my __**Mechanics **__readers. I'm having more trouble with more of my friends so there will be a delay with any updates to that story. Sorry. So please enjoy this chapter!_

_I don't own the Titans. Wish I did though. – J. Mirembe_

* * *

This was supposed to be his big chance. Nobody else could stand the pressure. Not to mention he was the only that could fight underwater. He was going to be the big hero and finally prove that he was just as capable and important as Robin. Raven would be able to see how awesome he really could be.

Plus he'd save the ocean or something like that. But mostly he'd get to look awesome for his team. Really, that's all he's been waiting for. Not just for Raven, but for all of them. Everybody always thinks he's the weak link but this would be the mission that would change all that.

And then Aqualad shows up.

Aqualad, who just happens to be nearly a foot taller and obviously stronger than him. Aqualad, who just happened to be a powerful superhero that just happened to be in the area and just happened to save his friends before he could. The good-looking, capable, friendly, charming, useful Aqualad. The only way he could have been any better was if he was a prince or something.

Somewhere deep inside his head, he knew that there wasn't really anything wrong with the guy. And that was _exactly_ what was wrong with him. Aqualad was just a little too good, just enough to completely push him out of his friends' circle of attention. So he did what any self-respecting hero, not to mention teenager, would do.

He pushed right back. Hard.

Yes, it was childish. Racing another hero across the bay instead of focusing on the mission? Spending time tossing dirty looks instead of looking for the villain? He knows at some point, he's supposed to grow up and to realize his behavior is sort of stupid. But right then and there was not going to be the time.

The Titans were his friends. This was supposed to have been his mission. It was his spotlight. And worst of all was the smile that should have belonged to him was suddenly thrown in an entirely different direction. Forget should have, it did belong to him!

It was the smile she had when she had first said he was funny. It was the smile he had been struggling to earn again ever since. It was the smile he _almost _got after his trip into her mind, when they finally figured out where they stood. It was the smile he would have gotten after he showed how incredible he was. And Aqualad thought he could simply barge in and take his place? That he'd ever be as important to Ra...

Maybe it was true and Aqualad was a better hero than he was. Maybe Aqualad really deserved all the attention. Maybe he was really was being stupid. Maybe he should have just been the bigger man and bowed out gracefully.

Then again, maybe he's just over-thinking it. What's his is his after all. And it just so happens that it's his right to behave however he sees fit to get back what belongs to him.


	12. Masks Survival

_Okay, this is late and I'm sorry. And to make matters worse, there isn't very much romance-ness. But don't worry! I'm working on the next one which should have a nice serving of awkward mixed with admiration and adoration. Triple A threat! Okay. Whatever, just read and enjoy. _

_I don't own the Titans. : ( _

* * *

The first instinct is survival. No matter how selfish it sounds, life really is all about looking out for number one. After all you can't really do anything if you get killed too early.

He understands survival. He knows all about danger and death because he's seen it. Honestly, he's spent more time dancing along the razor thin edge between here and gone than he will ever admit to. The only reason he survived this long is because he knows how to pick his fights. He knows several people he hopes he never has to try himself against because he won't win.

And right now is one of those times. Red X is too much for him, for his team. They are in over their heads. What they need is Robin. But Robin is gone now, has been gone, and will probably still be gone if they ever get home. The Fearless Leader has left them to chase after shadows in search of his obsession.

It doesn't really matter though. He doesn't really listen to Robin very much any more. Mostly he just lets the words wash over him and goes through the motions of obeying pointless orders. Everything they have done for weeks has been focused around one person. He knows obsession when he sees it. And unlike everybody else, he has seen what it does to a team.

Obsession pulls and tears and puts pressure where none would normally be. Barely a month ago, they were unstoppable and inseperable. And now? Now their Alpha has disappeared and they are being beaten into the ground by a smart mouth in a tricked out suit.

Red X. This guy is dangerous. Too dangerous. He's known that he got stuck to the roof of a building. Since his entire team was brought to a screeching halt in a matter of seconds. Red X made fools of them and made it look effortless. He had them at his mercy and walked away. The predator in him wants to make this guy pay, to put him in his place.

_NO ONE TOUCHES HIS FAMILY_

But that instinct is begging.

_just this once, run. don't look back. take the pack and go_.

The idea of retreat is there tickling at his mind, but he won't listen. He never listens and doesn't run. Maybe he really is as stupid as they all say. But honestly, he's just too stubborn. He doesn't run because he won't run and he won't run because he can't. Besides, what would Ra...the rest of the team think if he just fell apart every time a new and dangerous villain showed up on the streets?

So yes, he knows chasing X into the subway station is a bad idea. Worse than the ones he comes with in his spare time, and incredibly worse than the ones he dreams up while he is on duty. But cold feet aren't an option for heroes. Not to mention he likes kicking ass way too much to wait in the car.


	13. Masks Headlights

_Finally updating this one. I can't stay away from near death experiences! I've managed to get myself into a very interesting not-relationship since I last updated. It's so close to being the classic BBXRae relationship stand still. I've been emphasizing with Beast Boy a lot recently which is good for you because it's making writing this story way easy. Author's note is long. Read, review, and enjoy! (not necessarily in that order)_

_I don't own the Titans. – J. Mirembe_

* * *

He's about to die.

The lights are bearing down on him. He can hear the wheels screeching on the tracks, bringing his end ever closer. He can hear the others fighting but they are too far away. For what it matters, he's all alone.

This is taking too long. Aren't subways supposed to be fast? Screech, splat, done. That's how this is supposed to go. For some reason this train is going far too slow. Maybe even slow enough to escape, but those lights...he couldn't have moved if he had remembered to.

It's kind of funny. Out of everything he's faced and survived, it's a high tech thief and an express train that kills him. It couldn't have been the black hole device, an army of destructive robots, or some strange mutant monster. Of course not, that would have been too professional. Way too much honor and glory for a guy like him. Being kicked into a moving train though, that totally fits. It's really kind of random, not to mention it will totally disappoint Mento if he ever hears about it.

His mind is moving as fast as the train should be. It's all running through his head. Everything he's never going to experience, fights he won't be a part of, dreams never to be realized. That one soft smile he is never going to see again.

Suddenly the lights are his godsend. They are barely bright enough to outshine the memory of those few precious seconds. He can blame the stinging tears in his eyes on them too.

He's never going to tell Raven anything. All those chances when he could have said something. He's not sure what he would have said, but now he's never going to get to decide. He's going to die as just her teammate. He's always going to be her stupid annoying childish teammate and nothing else. She'll never know.

It's too bad he is very realistic when it comes to pain. It might have been nice to pretend that being hit by a train would hurt less than dying with the knowledge that she's never going to care about him. But he isn't that much of a romantic. He blames too many nights spent with the company of a bottle of pain medication in medical bays.

This is going to hurt like hell.


	14. Masked Anger

_Second to last piece of __**Masks**__. Set just after Robin has been unmasked. Imagine how you would feel if you realized one of your best friends had been fighting/injuring the person you loved. _

_Please enjoy!_

_I don't own the Titans. – J. Mirembe_

* * *

Beast Boy's entire world pitched upside down as Robin's face appeared underneath Red X's mask. Everything he had run away so far away from had suddenly reappeared without warning. Except now it was so much worse.

Being lied to, used, and misinformed. An obsessed leader willing to do whatever it took to catch the bad guy. A family being pulled apart at the seams from stress and uncertainty.

Mento had some twisted ideas to bait criminals. But he never would have imagined something like this.

The instant wave of shock had left him numb to everything.

It hadn't been just a petty thief that had nearly killed him. A criminal hadn't been threatening their family. They hadn't been toyed with for a robber's amusement. It wasn't a stranger who placed them as second to his own mission.

That would have been a thousand times better than the truth. But it had been their leader, their friend. How stupid they must have seemed. Asking for help tracking down a villain they would never find listed in a database or hiding in some alley. Robin had probably enjoyed it on some level. Finally getting to unleash everything he had against his teammates.

The Alpha he trusted with his life had nearly killed him. Robin had hacked Cyborg's systems, violating the trust that had been given to him. Beast Boy had never imagined Starfire could sound so heartbroken until she called out to Red X.

He had seen the bruises the criminal had left behind on Raven.

The numb disbelief burned away in a rush of anger so intense and instant, it was like fire in his blood.

He's only seen red a few times before. Every time was because someone he cared for was in mortal peril. But there was nothing righteous or honorable about this type of anger now. It was plain and simple, primal, royally pissed off blood lust. Good thing his only enemies are robots.

He doesn't even know what forms he's taking. The adrenaline and anger has blurred it all together in his mind. He doesn't care what animal he is. He doesn't think about the blows he's landing or the injuries he's receiving. As long as he keeps fighting, he doesn't have time to think about anything at all.

He's more than happy to drown in his instincts right now. They don't leave him any room to think about betrayal or broken trust. He can't spare a thought to think about anything other than tearing apart artificial soldiers.

Well, almost. He is still coherent enough to thank everything in the universe for Raven.

She's the flash of magic in the corner of his eye. Her voice cuts through the clamor, still calm and so full of power. Robots he never saw shoved away from him in the nick of time. A firm pull around his waist, yanking him out of the path of a burning megadrone. He doesn't need to see her to know she's there. Or to know she's watching out for him.

It's probably a good idea. He's certainly beyond caring right now. He's never been this furious before.

Maybe later, he'll be able to think clearly again. Hopefully, he'll be able to remember to thank Raven for protecting him. For now though, he needs to just fight as many destructive homicidal drones as possible.

And when he says fight, he really means slaughter. Because nothing can stand against the force of his fury and survive.


	15. Masked Disappointment

_For my money, there is nothing more disappointing than  
__1) one of your heroes letting you down  
__2) losing faith in something/someone you believe in  
__3) being powerless to help someone you care about  
__4) watching a close friend make a big mistake  
__5) being angry and not being able to do anything about it_

_Last part of __**Masks**__. There isn't really much BBXRae in this chapter. But I think this is something that could happen. It popped into my head and I really felt like this was a good way to wrap up this section. Please enjoy!_

_I do not own the Titans.- J. Mirembe _

* * *

Beast Boy hates watching girls cry. Simply because it feels like he is never going to be strong enough or good enough to make things right for them. He does everything he can, just to keep the people he loves happy and safe.

No matter how hard he tries, he never succeeds.

Starfire has always been so sweet. Just like he imagines a sister would be like. It makes her tears even more painful for him to witness. He wishes he could swear her that everything would get better. But he honestly doesn't know if it's possible. So he bites his tongue and tries his best to comfort her.

Taking care of Starfire isn't his job. He isn't supposed to be her protector. It's never been his responsibility to look after her like this. To hold her hand while she cries or feel her tears soak into his shirt. She isn't his to comfort with murmured apologies.

Matter of fact, he shouldn't even have to be here. He isn't the one with a reason to apologize. There should be no doubt in his mind that his team is united.

Soon he can't help trembling from sheer anger while Starfire sobs into his shoulder. He can't even speak from the force of what he's holding back. Part of him wants vengeance. What doesn't is struggling to survive the crushing weight of primal fury. An almost desperate need to find retribution for his hurt friend grows in intensity with every breath he takes.

But the time for anger and fighting needs to be over. Star wouldn't want him to go and avenge anything for her. He already knows Star will want the team to reunite. She will want the damage done to be repaired. Going on a destructive rampage now would be far from helpful.

He's dimly aware of the aches and pains settling into his body, making his limbs heavy and his movements sluggish. With every move he makes, a long bruised stripe across his chest taunts him. Left behind by an iron rail, it's a painful reminder of how he almost died. A memoir of the time he was almost killed by one of his personal heroes and close friends.

Robin is going to come to his senses, account for his actions, and really apologize soon enough. When that day comes, Beast Boy already knows he'll forgive Robin. He'll move on. Because someday, he's going to need to completely trust Robin again. Deep down, he already knows he can completely trust Robin.

Right now though, he is angry, injured, and disillusioned. And he already knows he will never forget how cold Starfire's tears are against the raw fire of his anger.


	16. Apprentice: Follow

_Ran out of homework. Watched Titans. Wrote this. Based on __**Apprentince, Part I**__. It's pretty long, so you should enjoy that. Sorry, not much overt romance. :/ I like that stuff too but it's really hard to find in a Robin episode. Please enjoy!_

_I don't own any of the dialogue or the characters. Thank you. - Jack_

* * *

He still believes in Robin.

Even with the betrayal and lies, he knows Robin is still a good person. Deep down, Robin is still a hero. A hero that still wants what is best for the team and for their city. He knows Robin has always been and is still ready to take whatever risks are necessary to do what is right.

But it isn't the same as before.

The Robin that used to spend nights playing videogames is gone. The one that used to take time to teach Starfire about earthly customs has disappeared. The smiles and friendly sarcasm have vanished. The only things left are anger and frustration that grow stronger and stronger every day.

The others don't understand. They keep trying to help Robin. Starfire keeps attempting to reach out, only to be pushed away. Raven tries to talk things through. But every offering of logic and reason is thrown away like yet another crumpled newspaper. Cyborg does everything he can to help, from fruitless searches to pointless investigations.

They think he's being unsupportive at first. Maybe he is. But he already knows that nothing he can do is going to help.

He believed in Mento too. No matter the odds, Mento always got the job done. He was willing to risk everything to beat the bad guy. Mento was a good person, a great hero, and an amazing leader. There was a time he would have blindly sacrificed everything, just to make his leader happy. If the time had ever come that his survival meant the villains won, Mento would have let him die without blinking. It's an unavoidable truth.

He gets yelled at a lot these days. Mostly because he doesn't shut up like Robin would like. But he would rather be kicked out of the Tower than sit by quietly while Robin drags them down. Been there and run away from that, thank you very much.

It's frustrating to watch his friend spiral out of control. But the only person who can change that is Robin. Every little scrap of carefully placed evidence they come across makes the chance of getting their old Robin back even smaller. The odds of survival for their little family are shrinking with it.

The stress gets easier to hear with every order. The time Robin spends in isolated in the evidence room grows longer and longer. Soon he's not the only one getting yelled at. The reason why becomes more and more insignificant until there is often no reason at all. By the time Slade appears on their monitor at five in the morning, he doesn't know how much longer the Titans will hold together.

Or at the very least, how much longer he's going to stay.

But any ideas of running away were quickly pushed aside in the new emergency. He doesn't understand Robin's obsession with Slade. But he does know that the man does not make idle threats. There is always a purpose that is never any good.

With some clever computer work he would expect from Cyborg, Raven managed to find out where the generator was hidden. (Isn't there a law somewhere against being that pretty and way too smart?) Robin had been ready to rush out on his own again. The only plan: Find Slade.

He and the team had been planning this conversation out for a while. It had been a long shot, but it was their best hope. That maybe they could redirect the Fearless Leader away from Slade. Not completely off the case, but far enough removed so he could clear his head a little.

"Hey, uh, maybe you should stay here and coordinate the search?" He wanted to badly to be just a little bit bolder. Or maybe for his voice to be slightly deeper. Anything at all, just so he could be a little more convincing and intimidating.

"What?" He wished Robin wouldn't snap at him. It clicked a switch in his head that didn't need to be flipped.

_Alpha failing to provide and protect. you can do better. challenge the Alpha._

Hearing Robin argue with Cyborg and Starfire doesn't help. But he doesn't want it. It's an honor he refuses to come near with a ten foot pole. He's seen what happens once you step up to that level. Inevitability pushing aside the people you care for. Forgetting who and what is most important.

It doesn't take much to remember the weeks Starfire spent walking through the Tower after Red X. How upset and lonely she was. He couldn't bear it if Raven...or any of the others went through that because of him. That kind of guilt would be horrible.

No. He doesn't want to be Alpha. You couldn't tell that from his actions though.

"You know, just because we're trying to catch Slade doesn't mean you have to act like him!"

He knew it was the wrong button to push but he didn't care. Apparently Robin didn't care anymore either. Chasing down a dock worker and trying to rough him up for information was a bad idea. Getting upset with Raven after she stopped him? Nowhere near smart, especially in front of him.

"Don't you ever compare me to him. He's trying to destroy this city; I'm trying to save it!"

As they faced off against each other, he dimly realized that he wasn't intimidated by Robin anymore. Not when the rest of his little family is right there next to him. Not when Raven is hovering in easy reach and in silent agreement.

He still believes in Robin. Still wants the best for him. Still trusts and respects him. But his days of blindly following him are over.

There is far too much at stake for that now.


	17. Apprentice: Mercy

_In the last chapter, I got a review saying that this story is light on BB/Rae romance. And I'll admit, it is. Some people can find the perfect person and know immediately that they have found that person. But for most people, it doesn't happen like that. It takes time. Being entirely focused on somebody to the exclusion of all else is usually seen as unhealthy. These two have issues, and trying to force them together doesn't sit right with me. _

_I said from the beginning that this story is going to follow the series. This is Beast Boy growing up and figuring out he loves Raven. It's going to take a while and it's not going to be focused solely on Raven. I'm sorry if that is what you are expecting. But I promise that I'm trying to move towards more BB/Rae centered stuff. Just hang in there with me. _

_I don't own anything.- Jack_

* * *

When Robin doesn't answer the first time Starfire calls, his stomach ties itself up in knots. He knows something has gone wrong. Every plaintive, unanswered call the alien makes only intensifies the feeling.

Robin's feelings for Starfire are an open secret among the boys. She is off limits to anyone but Robin. Nothing would stop him from answering a call from Raven...or any of his other teammates. So why would Robin ignore dozens of panicked calls from Star?

The implications make him antsy with worry. He's almost sure that Slade has their leader. The generator turning out to be a decoy is as good as a ransom. Why else would Robin have been singled out?

The answer was a harsh slap to the face. Robin making off with stolen property and dressed like just another one of Slade's minions is the last thing he expected. Their leader disappears without saying a word, as if suddenly changing your entire stance on the world isn't worth an explanation. It's so far from reality that has to be a lie.

Robin wouldn't abandon them, would never betray them. It all has to be a lie.

But then there's another break in. Robin's attempting to run away again without an explanation. Trying to steal another piece of advanced weapon technology. Pushing past Starfire without a single glance. Attacking Cyborg in the middle of his plea for peace was the final straw.

After that, there really wasn't anything to talk about anymore.

If there was one thing he had learned, it's that you can't let unimportant details stop you. He and the Doom Patrol had butted heads about what was unimportant. Mento had always thought he was emotional, impulsive, and unable to focus. His leader just hadn't been able to understand what he focused on.

He knew Robin had that same laser focus trained into him. Robin had made everything crystal clear and had to have known what was going to happen next. Not everybody could become villains. He still had a job to do. Most importantly, he still had a team to protect.

He was just going to catch their wayward leader. Or if that didn't work, he would be okay with knocking him unconscious. Keep his focus and away from the others. That had been his plan. Capture or stop, not injure. Then he got stuck in that dumb light. And Robin went straight past Starfire.

Right towards Raven.

It was hard but he managed to breathe past the sudden lump in his throat. She didn't need him to protect her. He didn't need to protect her. It was okay. She could more than handle herself. Raven could stop Robin single handed. Only she didn't. She kept deflecting his blows, refusing to throw any of her own.

Cyborg had gotten back up, sonic cannon armed. Cy would finish it. Just a simple sonic blast and this mess would be over. Raven would be safe. Robin would explain everything, just like Red X. Everything would fine as soon as that cannon went off. But it never did. Instead, his best friend gave up the shot to charge into the fight.

Robin had been focused on Raven and Cyborg. It had been the perfect opportunity. So he had taken it. He slammed into Robin's side with all he had. Knocked his leader clear across the rooftop. Watched his friend roll towards the edge of the building.

And then he made the sort of stupid emotional decision that had always left Mento so disappointed. Moments later Star made the same type of emotional decision and lowered her starbolts. Robin's attack had left his head ringing but he was still able to come to two profound conclusions.

One: His team was made of the most merciful and devoted people he had ever met.

Two: They were never going to be able to stop Robin because of it.


	18. Apprentice: Complete

_Done with Season 1! Long time coming, but it finally happened. Thanks for reading so far! Hopefully, we can start moving along faster now. _

_I don't own anything. But I'll give you whatever I have, as long as you love me. ;) - Jack_

* * *

You can't be a baby about getting hurt if you want to be a hero. It's part of job. He can handle pain. Its part adrenaline and part practice. He can shrug off injuries that would leave a normal person sobbing on the ground. The exact reason why is a secret he's kept since he got his powers. Long story short, his pain tolerance is just high enough to be a little ridiculous.

That is the only thing that keeps him from falling to the ground like his team when they all start flashing red. Even so, the pain is still enough to force him to his knees. He doesn't understand what is happening or how, but he can hear his teammates gasping in pain. The sound of his family hurting just makes it worse. He doesn't know how to stop this, how to help them. The only reason they aren't screaming is because it hurts too much to even think of screaming.

But somebody is. He can barely hear the voice begging with the empty night for the torture to stop. And amazingly, it does.

After the glow of pain fades away into an unsettling memory and Robin escapes like smoke, Starfire has a hunch. It is the most disgusting and unsettling hunch he has ever heard of. Of course it has to be correct.

He hates being hooked to all of those machines. Nothing is more terrifying than the world of needles, tubes filled with mystery medicines, and big bleeping machines watching his every move. But he doesn't really have a choice. Star is too distraught over Robin. Cyborg needs to run the machine. He thinks Raven could hate needles too. Her eyes had widened with what might have been fear at the sight of all the monitors. It's not any real proof but that small possibility was enough to make him volunteer.

Catching a glimpse of those probes was enough to make him wish he hadn't. It's one thing being told you are carrying around potentially lethal micro-machines. Actually seeing the ones inside you, waiting to kill you and knowing there isn't any way to stop it? It makes him want to puke. But deep down, he can't be more relieved.

Those things are the only testimony he needs. It really was all a lie. Robin was trying to protect them. They had been the bait in Slade's trap and Robin had willingly been captured. If the roles had been reversed, he would have done the exact same thing.

Just like that, everything falls into place. His focus shifts. No longer stop, but save.

He only half pays attention as Cyborg explains the technology, and something about how he can't remove the probes without the transmitter. How trying to do it would most likely activate the probes again, but it wouldn't stop until they had all been torn to tiny pieces. From personal experience, he knows individual nerves happily shredding themselves to pieces only to burn back together within the space of a heartbeat is horrible. Only this time, the pain would be drawn out, lethal, and without the extreme adrenaline and endorphin high afterwards.

When they finally track down Slade's lair, they aren't there to save themselves. When the probes are activated and the pain rushes up again, he knows it's probably not going to stop. They won't let Robin stay. Slade won't let him go. He's horrible at math but even he can tell the odds are stacked against them. Even if Robin does as Slade orders, the psychopath is eventually going to kill them.

He can hear Raven gasping in pain next to him. Feels her crumple to the ground, and barely registers her falling against his side. Blind with pain, he managed to find her hand and tried to hold it as tightly as he could. He's not alone anymore and somehow that helps.

But it doesn't really change anything. They can't save Robin. He can't protect them forever.

Any doubts or fears he had about Robin's devotion to this team is shattered when his friend races towards that generator. If Slade wants to bring the Titans go down, they all go down. That's the very last thing he manages to think before his world shrinks into pain and Raven's hand in his.

Raven's grip tightens briefly on his hand before letting him go as the pain disappears. They have a job to do and can't do it holding hands like children. When Robin calls them to attack, it feels right. Even though they are still facing down one of the most dangerous men he's even met, he can't help feeling like they've already won. They've got their Alpha back and now they are out for blood. Slade could feel it too and ran, but not without setting off the self-destruct.

Typical. Must have used up all his originality on the probes.

He had been about to fly towards the door when he had felt a hand on his shoulder. His mind rushed immediately to drones and robot minions. Acting on autopilot, he reached up to cover it with his own, spinning to face his attacker.

He didn't need his heightened senses to recognize her. She was hovering, just close enough to the ground to reach him. Her hand wasn't on his shoulder anymore, but holding his hand tightly. He was thankful for the red lights when her eyes skimmed quickly over his face, like she was looking for something. Then she reached down and grabbed his other hand, dragging him after her towards the exit.

He knows she knows that he could have managed to get out on his own. He would have been able to see the falling gears without the flashing lights. There isn't any reason for her to give him a ride. He's not about to argue or question it because that would be stupid. Teammates help teammates out, even when there isn't any reason. He doesn't need there to be a reason.

Later on, he and Cyborg make all the breakfast food possible at their "Slade is a Loser" extravaganza. Slade and the probes are pushed aside and forgotten. He saves as many of the best pancakes as he can for Raven. He can feel her eyes on him when he makes her tea. Robin is back for real now. Laughing and smiling like before, Starfire at his side.

It's not going to last forever, so he's going to savor this moment. Being a hero is hard but times like this, his family whole and happy, make it easier.


End file.
